The Advent Children Show
by GuitarWind45
Summary: The show's hosted my yours truly, and the stars of the show are the FFVII characters.Submit your reviews to ask the characters anything. Everyone's involved! Rated: T for Language!
1. Episode 1: Introductions

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. That includes anything related to Final Fantasy.**

Remember to review, and don't forget to dare/ask any of the characters ANYTHING. Names will be included in the entries.

**Episode 1: Introductions**

Me: Welcome to the very first episode of the Advent Children Show!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: I'm your host, Jonathan! Now let's welcome the star of the show. He came all they way from Nibelheim. Please help me give a warm welcome to Cloud Strife!

Crowd: [Cheers Loudly]

[Cloud walks on stage]

Fangirl 1: Oh My GOD! I love you Cloud! [Runs on stage and tackles and kisses Cloud all over]

Cloud: Can someone get her off of me? !

Guard: [Picks up fangirl and takes her back in the crowd]

Me: Wow Cloud, you're a girl magnet.

Cloud: You kidding me? Girls act as if I'm a shopping mall.

Me: So anyway, how was your trip up here?

Cloud: It was exhausting! I rode a slow chocobo all the way here.

Me: Hmm, what happened to your motorcycle?

Cloud: I have no idea, I saw some asshole stole it.

Me: Well sorry about your loss.

Cloud: It's alright.

Me: So anyway, back to the show. We have someone very special here today... Please help me welcome Zack Fair!

Crowd: [Cheers Extra Loudly]

Fangirl 2: Zack! I love you! Do you remember me? You signed every part of my body! Remember?

Zack: Uhhh... Yea sure.

Me: You're a town favorite Zack. So let me ask you, how did you and Cloud meet?

Zack: Well, funny story actually, I was on a mission with Cloud and a few other SOLDIERS, and Cloud was the only one that could catch up to me in the snow. I remember he said that Gongaga was a backwater name.

Cloud: [Laughs]

Zack: ever since then, we were bestfriends.

[Cloud and Zack hug]

Crowd: Aww

Me: Well... You guys aren't anything more right?

[Cloud and Zack release awkwardly]

Cloud and Zack: No

(Deep Voice): Hey Spikey! I found who stole your motorcycle.

Me: Umm, excuse me, but we're doing a show here.

(Deep Voice): Shut up!

Me: kay... (Jerk)

Cloud: Hey what's up Barret?

Barret: Hey! I found the guy who stole your bike. [pulls in a person with a mask]

Scooby Doo: OOH! We must solve this mystery.

Me: What the hell? ! Get out of here! This is Final Fantasy VII characters only.

Barret: [Pulls off mask]

Everyone: [Gasps]

Me: So it was Tifa Lockhart who stole Cloud's bike. The irony!

Tifa: And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling AVALANCHE and you're stupid dog!

Scooby Doo: Rhay! RI'm not stupid.

Tifa: No, not you Scooby, I'm talking about Red XIII.

Scooby Doo: Rhoo's that?

Me: Can you leave now?

Scooby Doo: [Leaves]

Zack: Hey man, why'd you kick him out? He was cool.

Me: Just following the rules. Only Final Fantasy VII characters on the show.

Cloud: Then why the hell are you here?

Me: Well... I'm the host! I'm the one writing this story.

Tifa: And what about him? [Points to Nobuo Uematsu]

Me: He wrote your guys' music, and your theme song, Tifa.

Cloud: Tifa has a theme song?

Tifa: I have a theme song?

Zack: Tifa has a theme song?

Barret: Tifa has a theme so- -

Me: YES! Tifa has a ****ing theme song!

Crowd: [gasps]

Cloud: You just cursed on live TV!

Me: Hey camera crew, did you guys cut into commercial before that?

[Camera man says something]

Me: What do you mean we have no sponsors! ? What about Sony Playstation?

Zack: I think Playstation sponsors the actual game, not this show.

Me: [curses quietly]

Barret: Hey, aren't we missing someone?

Aerith: Can I come out now?

Crowd: [Cheers like crazy]

Me: Welcome to the show Aerith Gainsborough.

Aerith: I'm glad to be here.

Me: did you know you're number 1 for best female character in Final Fantasy VII?

Crowd: [whistles]

Aerith: Really? I never knew that.

Tifa: I don't like her.

Cloud: You're my number 1, Tifa.

Crowd: Aww

Aerith: Cloud! What happened to me?

Zack: Aerith! Do you love Cloud?

Aerith:Zack! Hey, you're alive! And it's not what it looks like!

Tifa: Are you trying to steal my Cloud? !

Zack: Wait, you thought I was dead?

Cloud: You died remember? You gave me your sword

Zack: Wait what? !

Barret: I like cheese.

Aerith: I sent you like 89 letters.

Tifa: Cloud, are you in love with Aerith?

Cloud: No! I love you!

Aerith: Cloud!

Zack: Aerith!

Barret: Barret!

Yuffie: For your information, Cloud is in love with me!

Fangirl 1: No! He's in love with me!

Cloud: Yuffie!... Hey...

Vincent: Yuffie! What about me?

Yuffie: Vincent, you're too emo!

Vincent: I'm not emo! Gosh!

Cloud: Jonathan, can you please stop this fight?

Me: No I think I'm okay, you guys are hilarious!

[Tifa and Yuffie going head to head]

Tifa: Cloud loves me!

Yuffie: Shut up you slut! Cloud loves me!

Tifa: [gasps] [slaps Yuffie across the face]

Yuffie: [slaps Tifa back]

[Tifa and Yuffie slap fight]

[guard breaks them up]

Me: Okay, now that that's over, lets get some questions from the audience.

Crowd: [raises hands]

Me: [points to someone] please say your name and where your from please.

Person: My name is Sora, and I'm from Destiny Islands. And I have a question for Cloud.

Cloud: Okay

Sora: Who do you really love?

[Yuffie and Tifa look at Cloud]

Cloud: Ummm...

Yuffie: Yeah Cloud, who do you really love?

Cloud: Umm... I love Rydia.

Tifa: Who the hell is that?

Rydia: I'm from Final Fantasy IV.

Me: What the hell? Get out!

Rydia: Why should I? !

Me: Final Fantasy VII characters only. So get out!

Rydia: Make me!

Me: [grabs Rydia]

Rydia: [Gasps] get your hands off me!

[Rydia casts blizzaga on Me]

Me: (I'm Frozen!)

Crowd: [Laughs loudly]

Zack: Why'd you do that?

Rydia: He was annoying!

Everyone: True.

[Aerith casts firaga on Me] [Ice melts]

Me: Thank you Aerith, at least someone likes me.

Zack: Aerith, why did you do that?

Aerith: Because Jonathan is cute!

Me:... Oh no...!

[Zack walks up to me and starts punching me]

[Yuffie and Tifa start fighting again]

[Cloud and Vincent start fighting]

Barret: I like cheese. Remember readers, if you want to ask/dare any of the characters on the show, make sure you post you question/dare in the reviews section!

Me: Until next time... [gets punched in the face]... I'm your host, Jonathan. And this is [gets punched again]... The Advent Children Show... [gets punched again]... AHH! Anyone have a Phoenix Down? !


	2. Episode 2: No Reviews

**Disclaimer: I do not profit or intend to profit from anything Final Fantasy, any reference to anything that isn't Final Fantasy that is not my original work, or this fic itself.**

**Episode 2: No reviews...**

Me: Okay, so Episode 1 was published a few days ago, but no reviews!

Zack: Haha!

Me: Shut up! I can't help it!

Zack: Can't help what? That everyone hates your writing?

Me: AGH! [Brings fist up]

Cloud: Hey, weren't we missing somebody last episode?

Me: Who? We got all the main characters here right now.

Aerith: Jenova's son remember? He killed me in the game.

Me: AHHH! Spoiler alert!

Barret: You haven't even finished playing the original game?

Me: No! So shut up!

Zack: Wow! Even I finished the game, and I'm not even in it.

Rydia: I beat it too!

Me: What the hell are you doing here? ! I thought I kicked you out last episode.

Tifa: No you didn't, remember? She totally froze you.

Me: Well I think now's the time she should leave.

Cloud: Noooooo! Please let Rydia stay!

Tifa: So you were serious when you said you love her!

Cloud: Yeah of course.

Tifa: Well don't you love me? I've been your friend since forever.

Cloud: I love you as a friend, sure. But Rydia is HOT!

Rydia: [Blushes]

Tifa: I'm gonna kill you! [Walks up to Rydia and punches her in the face]

Rydia: [Casts firaga on Tifa]

[Guards break up the fight]

Me: Since nobody on FanFiction reviewed this story or asked any of you guys a question, lets take some questions or dares from the audience.

Crowd: [raises hands]

Me: [Points to someone] Please say your name and where you're from please.

Person: My name is Spongebob SquarePants from Bikini Bottom. And my question is for Cloud!

Cloud: Okay

Spongebob: Oh my Neptune! I am such a big fan! Will you go Jelly fishing with me?

Everyone: [Laughs]

Cloud: Ummm... I don't know...

Me: Don't you wanna please your fans?

Cloud: Fine...

Spongebob: Hooray!

[Spongebob and Cloud exit]

Tifa: I hope he gets stung real bad!

Me: Whoa there! I thought you loved him.

Tifa: Not after he started loving that bitch from Final Fantasy IV!

Rydia: What did you call me, you whore?

Tifa: You heard me, you fat skank!

Rydia: Bitch! I will tear your face apart!

Tifa: I'd like to see you try with your small boobs!

Rydia: [looks at chest] Well at least my boobs don't weigh me down, give me back problems, and go past my bellybutton without a bra!

Crowd: OOOOHHHH

Rydia: I bet Cloud would rather masterbate than have sex with you!

Everyone: [Jaw drop]

Me: Okay, I think it's time Rydia leaves.

Tifa: NO! Let her stay, I wanna see her face after I rip it apart.

Me: Guards!

[Guards take Rydia away]

Me: Finally! Back to the original Final Fantasy VII characters.

Zack: Why did you have to take her away? I was enjoying the fight!

Barret: To be honest it is the most interesting thing that's happened on the show so far.

Me: Okay that's enough.

Yuffie: I was waiting for a bitch fight!

Sephiroth: I will kill you all!

Everyone: [Runs and screams]

Sephiroth: [Laughs] I'm just screwing with you guys!

Everyone: [relaxes]

Sephiroth: SIKE! [stabs Me with sword]

Everyone: [Gasps]

Zack: Oh my God! You killed the host! [Runs up and starts fighting Sephiroth]

Barret: Don't worry I have a phoenix down!

Aerith: How come nobody used one on me when Sephiroth killed me?

Barret: Because Square Enix sucks!

Everyone: [Gasps]

Zack: What did you say about our creators?

Sephiroth: Jenova is apart of Square Enix?

Zack: No dumbass!

Yuffie: I am so telling the developers on you, Barret!

Barret: No wait! Please don't! They'll make me die or something!

Aerith: What the hell? Then what made them wanna kill me off? Stupid developers...

Yuffie: Ooh! I'm telling on you too!

Aerith: Go ahead, they killed me once already!

[Yuffie snitches on Aerith and Barret]

Sephiroth: [Unsheathes sword] What's happening? I can't control myself!

[Sephiroth cuts off Aerith and Barret's head]

Crowd: [Gasps]

Sephiroth: Okay c'mon! I know I'm the villain, but how come I always have to kill everyone?

Zack: Blame it on Yuffie, she's the one that snitched.

[Sephiroth kills Yuffie]

Sephiroth: All that's left to kill is the puppy!

Zack: Oh sh- -!

[Sephiroth kills Zack]

Sephiroth: Yes! I have killed everyone! Haha!

[Cloud walks in with many jellyfish stings]

Cloud: Oh my God, everyone's dead!

[Cloud notices Sephiroth killed everyone]

Cloud: Hey Sephiroth, I think I saw Jenova down at Jellyfish Fields.

Sephiroth: Jenova? MOTHER!

[Sephiroth runs out, and Cloud uses a Phoenix Down on everyone]

Everyone: Thanks Cloud.

Me: So how was jellyfishing?

Cloud: Stupid King Jellyfish attacked me. Then Spongebob blew a bubble shaped like a pie and King Jellyfish ran off with it.

Barret: How did you breathe underwater?

Cloud: I couldn't at first, but this squirrel named Sandy or whatever gave me a diving suit.

Me: Sounds like a pretty weird place to be.

Zack: I know, sponges and squirrels that live underwater, jelly fishing. What's next? Every fish in Bikini Bottom driving cars?

Spongebob: They're boats, Mr. Fair.

[Silence]

Me: Okay, well I just received a dare from a local friend. Her name is Chirsty, and her dare is for Cloud.

Cloud: Why is it always me?

Me: She said she dares you to do IT with her.

Crowd: [Laughs]

Cloud: Dammit, not again...

Tifa and Yuffie: Again? !

Cloud: Whatever, I'm used to it.

[Cloud exits]

Me: Okay readers, how about we ask questions to other characters. Thanks. Well that's all the time we have today. I'm your host, Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: The Advent Children Show!

**I'd like to thank my friend Christy for being the first to read and asking Cloud her question or dare, or whatever it is. Thanks! :D**


	3. Episode 3

**Disclaimer: I do not profit from anything...**

Author's Note: Warning! Some sexual jokes and references are in this chapter! I apologize for not mentioning last chapter!

**Episode 3**

Me: Welcome to episode 3 of The Advent Children Show!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: That's right! And we finally got our first question from the FanFiction website!

Cloud: It better not be for me.

Me: Don't worry, Cloud, this one isn't for you. But we'll do that question later. Instead we'll get some questions from the audience.

Crowd: [Raises hands]

Me: [Points to someone] please say your name and where you're from.

Blue Hedgehog: I'm Sonic, and I'm from the planet Mobius.

Me: Interesting, and who is your question for?

Sonic: My question is for the beautiful Yuffie!

Tifa: Oh PLEASE!

Sonic: Because you're so agile, would you like me to teach you the spin dash?

Yuffie: Of course I would! I can't wait! I love to learn new moves!

Me: That's great, Yuffie, you may leave now.

[Yuffie exits with Sonic]

Tifa: Good, finally that bitch leaves.

Me: You just hate on every girl character don't you?

Tifa: Shut up!

Me: Well geez... I'm sorry for mentioning the obvious.

Tifa: Why don't you shut your face, before I shut it for you!

Me: (You are so in for it later)...

Barret: (What a bitch)

Cloud: (I'd rather masterbate then have sex with her)

Zack: (Hey Mr. Right Arm, you're looking fine! Oh... Mr. Left Arm, you need to lift more weights buddy.)

Aerith: (Hey Zack's Right Arm, you look so strong! Mr. Left Arm, you need some work.)

Me: (How come I can read everyone's thoughts?)

Zack: (Hey Jonathan, can you hear me? Haha this is so cool!)

Barret: (Hey listen to this! [Makes fart noise])

Aerith: (Boys are so gross!)

Cloud: (Who wants to play the penis game?)

Me: (I do!)

Cloud: (Penis)

Me: (Peeenis)

Cloud: (PEEnis!)

Me: (PEE [Takes a breath] NIIIIISSSS!)

Cloud: (PEEEE [Takes breath] NNNNNIIIIII [takes another breath] IIIISSS!)

Me: (PPPEEE- -)

Aerith: (Shut up! I can't think straight!)

Tifa: Why the hell isn't anyone talking? !

Me: ([Laughs] I totally forgot about the show)

[Yuffie walks in]

Yuffie: Okay seriously! I'm trying to learn the spin dash here! Why the hell do I keep hearing Cloud and Jonathan shouting out "Penis" in my head? !

Tifa: What the hell? What are you talking about?

Yuffie: You don't hear it?

Me: (Hey Yuffie, shut up and play along!)

Yuffie: (Are we reading each others minds?)

Zack: (Pretty cool huh?)

Yuffie: (Tifa can't hear us?)

Cloud: (I guess not)

Yuffie: (Well in that case... Hey Tifa, you're a whore!)

Crowd: ([Laughs])

Barret: (You're a bitch, Tifa!)

Tifa: Okay what the hell! ? Somebody talk!

Me: Okay, we're back!

Tifa: Back from where? I'm so confused.

Aerith: Is there any blonde behind all that back hair, Tifa?

Tifa: Ugh! You guys suck! I so wish I could've been in Final Fantasy X.

Me: I think it's time to read the question from the FanFiction website!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: This question is from Kurina the Imiko. She says, "I have a question for Yuffie!  
>I want to know if she could do some sort of ninja attack on Tifa when Miss.<br>Cloud-Loves-Me-More-Than-You doesn't expect it? I would love that!"

Tifa: What! ! ! ? ? ?

Yuffie: OHHHHH! I am sooooo looking forward to this!

Tifa: Well that's too bad for you because I will be expecting anythi- -

[Yuffie does spin dash on Tifa. Tifa falls then gets back up. Yuffie sweep kicks Tifa. She falls then gets back up. Then Yuffie jumps and throws two ninja stars. Tifa falls and stays down.]

Yuffie: Oh yeah! Kiss my ass and lick my pussy! You just got OWNED by the Yuffinator, bitch!

Crowd: [Laughs and cheers]

Yuffie: Was that ninja enough for you Kurina? !

Me: Hopefully it was, but if you're not satisfied, Kurina, we can always do it again next episode!

Tifa: Oh please, no!

Me: We're just trying to please our fans.

Tifa: I hope somebody asks me to beat up Yuffie so bad!

Yuffie: Well the fans wouldn't be so satisfied, because you hit like a pussy!

Everyone: OOOOHHHH!

Tifa: Bitch, I will own you!

Yuffie: Oh sure...

Tifa: Why does everyone hate me? And what kind of nickname is "Miss. Cloud – Loves – Me... Whatever"?

Me: Tifa, if we get in trouble it'll be your fault... just saying...

Tifa: I so hate you! I hate this show!

Me: (Bitch)

Cloud: (You got that right)

Me: (Penis)

Cloud: (PEEEnis)

Me: (PEEEEENNNNIIIIISSSSS!)

Aerith: (Oh my God! Get out of my head!)

Barret: ([Makes loud fart noise])

Yuffie: (Barret!)

Barret: (Hey, it was Zack!)

Yuffie: (Zack, you're so gross!)

Zack: (It wasn't me!)

Tifa: Why are you guys looking at each other like that? Stop!

Me: (Hey Tifa, [Sings]: Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to the floor...)

Everyone except Tifa: ([Sings]: Do they shine in the light, are your nipples black or white!)

Tifa: That's it! If nobody's gonna talk, I am leaving!

[Tifa exit]

Everyone: [Cheers loudly!]

Me: Well that's all we have for today! I'm your host, Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: The Advent Children Show!

**Sorry for making Tifa look like a bitch. Everyone show your love for her by reviewing and asking her back on the show. I promise, I'll make her a better character! Don't forget to ask your favorite character a question, or a dare!**

**Special thanks: **

**Kurina the Imiko**


	4. Episode 4: Sweet Revenge

**Episode 4: Sweet Revenge**

Me: Hello! And welcome back to the Advent Children Show!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: I'm your host, Jonathan. And on this episode, we have another question! But we can get back to that later in the show.

Yuffie: Hey where's Tifa? Oh wait! That's right, she fled the show!

Me: She'll be coming back soon though, Yuffie.

Yuffie: That's cool with me, as long as we have some time away from her.

Me: Well anyway, we have all the main protagonists from Final Fantasy VII here today except for Tifa.

Red XIII: Hey wait, has anyone seen Cloud?

Me: What do you mean? He should be here.

Vincent: I saw him go out the back door for some reason.

Me: You didn't ask why?

Vincent: He just told me to leave him alone. So I did.

Me: Well in that case... At least we have Zack Fair here.

Crowd: [Cheers loudly]

Yuffie: But Cloud is the main character.

Me: Not in Crisis Core though! I honestly think that Zack is better than Cloud.

Zack: Thank you! I came first anyway. Without me, Cloud would've been dead!

Yuffie: But Cloud is hotter.

[Cloud comes in from the back door with his shirt backwards and his hair messed up.]

Me: Whoa! Looks like you've been through a tornado.

Aerith: Yeah right, he was probably making out with that Rydia girl.

Cloud: [looks surprised] Whhhaaaaaaat?

Me: Why is your shirt backwards?

Cloud: [Looks at shirt] Whoops, I thought I had that on right.

[Cloud takes off shirt]

Yuffie: Mmmm... Now that's yummy!

[Cloud puts on shirt]

Zack: You think that's yummy? [Laughs] Wait till you see this!

[Zack takes off shirt]

Crowd: [Cheers]

Aerith: Ohh... Look at my boyfriend...

Yuffie: I have no comment.

Aerith: Yeah, because he's totally hot!

Zack: I think I'll stay like this for the rest of the episode.

Me: Umm.. You do that... So how about some questions from the audience?

Crowd: [Raises hands]

Me: [Points to someone] Please say your name and where you're from.

Boy: My name is Ash Ketchum from Pallet town!

Zack: (Fag)

Ash: And I challenge Zack Fair to a Pokemon battle!

Zack: (You have got to be kidding me) Okay fine.

Aerith: Ooh! I can't wait! My boyfriend will be shirtless during the battle!

[Zack picks up a Pokeball]

[The stage turns into a Pokemon stadium]

Zack: I have to warn you, Ash, I've played every Pokemon game you can think of.

Ash: (Fag)

Zack: Blaziken! I choose you!

Ash: Charzard! I choose you!

Me: Wow... I don't think the fans are gonna like this...

Zack: Use Flamethrower!

Ash: Dodge, and use Seismic Toss!

[Blaziken uses Flamethrower, but Charzard dodges, grabs Blaziken and flies high up in the air. Then Charzard comes down and throws Blaziken to the ground]

Zack: Blaziken! Use Quick Attack!

Me: Oh My God! This is so BORING! Let's cut to commercial! NOW!

[The Advent Children Show stops and goes to the commercials]

* * *

><p>Commercial 1: Are you bored? So bored out of your mind?<p>

Boy: Yes!

Commercial 1: Have you played Final Fantasy VII so many times that you memorized every line?

Boy: Yes!

Commercial 1: Have you even masterbated to Tifa's breasts so many times that it's no longer enjoyable?

Boy: What is... Ma-ster-bat-ed?

Commercial 1: Then say hello to Buster Sword! It's the exact replica of the sword that Cloud Strife uses in the game itself!

Boy: That's cool!

Commercial 1: Use it to kill the bullies at your school. Use it with your mother's cooking, but be careful, one slip of the handle and you could cause a big mess!

Boy: That's so amazing!

Commercial 1: Buster Sword may cause itching, bleeding, sadness, emo-like features, and or explosive projectile vomiting. Please do not use Buster Sword at any conventions, as it may cause jealously from other fans of the game and can lead to death or serious injury of you or another fan. If you have any serious medical condition, please contact your doctor before using or purchasing Buster Sword.

Commercial 1: This is a $6 value, all yours for just $2.99 with $2,659.99 Shipping and Handling! So what are you waiting for? If you call in the next 10 seconds we will throw in the assault gun! Used by the badass Barret Wallace himself! So get your phones out right now and call ! That's ! But for those of you guys reading this on FanFiction, don't call this number, or you will die! You must be 18 years or older, and you have to be the president of the Cloud Strife official fan club to order!

* * *

><p>Me: And welcome back to the show! Now lets get back to Ash and Zack's Pokemon battle!<p>

[Blaziken is standing, and Charzard is down]

Ash: Charzard no!

Zack: (He's so dramatic)

[Ash starts crying]

Zack: (Okay what the hell?)

[The stadium turns back to the show stage]

Me: So now that that's over, lets read our question from the FanFiction website!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: This dare comes from Hidden By Shadow, and this person says, "Beat Yuffie up. Use as many limit break moves as possible."

[Tifa walks in]

Tifa: Did I hear that correctly?

Me: I'm pretty sure.

Yuffie: Oh dammit...

[Tifa punches Yuffie in the face. Uses Beat Rush and Somersault. Yuffie falls to the ground. Tifa then uses Dolphin Blow and Meteor Strike.]

Me: Are you done yet? Yuffie looks hurt badly.

[Tifa then finishes with Final Heaven]

Tifa: Oh yeah! Kiss my ass and suck my tits! You just got OWNED by the Tifanator!

Yuffie: Damn you...

Me: Wow... I guess sweet revenge can be a bitch sometimes.

Tifa: You want me to Beat Rush you too Jonathan? !

Me: No... No I'm good...

Yuffie: Well, I've been wondering, what can you do Jonathan?

Cloud: Yeah, what can you do? Besides writing FanFictions that is.

Me: Well I play guitar in my band.

Yuffie: Ooh, a guitar player huh?

Vincent: Do you guys know any songs by Slipknot?

Me: No... Sorry we're not THAT hardcore.

Aerith: Maybe your band should do a guest star appearance on the show.

Zack: Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.

Me: Wait, what the hell? Are you guys dumb? This is just a fan fiction! None of this is real!

Yuffie: Then why did you make this show anyway?

Me: Well, I like the Final Fantasy VII franchise and I get bored a lot.

Red XIII: So you basically have no life?

Me: What? Of course I have a life! Just because I get bored, doesn't mean I don't have a life. Plus it's summer, I've got nothing to do.

Tifa: So that basically means you don't have a life...

Me:... Screw this...

Zack: And what we're just saying is part of your imagination, so your basically just arguing with yourself.

Aerith: Like that comedian, Jeff Dunham.

Cloud: Oh that guy's hilarious!

Barret: I like Sweet Daddy Dee!

Tifa: Why? Because he's black?

Barret: Why does everyone say that? !

Zack: I like Jose, the Jalapeno on a Stick, and I'm not even Mexican.

Barret: Exactly, Tifa! Don't be racist like that next time.

Me: Okay, well... I guess I'm arguing with myself right now, so we should end the episode now. I'm your host, Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: The Advent Children Show!

**Don't forget to submit your entries for your truth or dare questions.**

**Special Thanks:**

**Hidden By Shadow**


	5. Episode 5: Hugs, Hugs, and Fun

**Episode 5: Hugs, Hugs and, Fun from Everyone**

Me: Hi there! And welcome to Episode 5 of "The Advent Children Show!"

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: We've got two questions in store for today.

Zack: TWO questions! That's worth celebrating about.

Me: Shut up puppy. Let's take a quick question from the audience, then we can get on to the FanFiction questions.

Crowd: [Raises hands]

Me: [Picks someone] please say your name and where you're from.

Teenage Boy: [Speaks in emo-like voice] My name is Setsuna F. Seiei and I am a Gundam Meister for Celestial Being.

Me: Umm... Okay... Setsuna, what is your question and who is it for?

Setsuna: My question is for Cloud Strife, and I challenge you to a fight against me and my Gundam, Exia.

Cloud: Whoa! What? Me against that huge war machine?

Zack: Sucks for you!

Cloud: Dammit...

Setsuna: I will not go easy on you.

Cloud: Oh well, I fought huge bosses before...

[Setsuna goes into cockpit of Exia]

[Cloud takes out sword]

Me: Don't get me wrong, I love Gundam, but I have a feeling this is gonna be boring... Cut to commercial!

[Goes to commercial]

* * *

><p>Commercial: Are you tired of playing Guitar Hero, or Rock Band?<p>

Kid: Expert Mode is way too easy!

Commercial: Are you bored of the same old guitar, drums, bass, and vocals?

Kid: I even played the game while playing all the instruments at once!

Commercial: Are you looking for a real challenge? Then say hello to... Triangle Hero!

Kid: What's that?

Commercial: It's only the best musical instrument in the world! It has all your favorite difficulties: Easy, Medium, Hard, Expert, and "Come and Get It!"!

Kid: Ooh! A new difficulty!

Commercial: If you thought "Through the Fire and Flames" was hard on guitar, get ready to play it on the Triangle!

Kid: How much does it cost? !

Commercial: Triangle Hero is not available in stores! This is a $0.003 value all yours for 87 easy payments of $5.75! This offer also has a special, same year delivery!

Kid: That's faster than Buster Sword!

Commercial: But that's not all, if you order through this TV offer, we will include 2, count em, 2 Triangle Hero triangles! So just call 1 – 800 – 789 – Tri – Angle – that – is – way – better – than – guitar – hero – co .uk!

Kid: I'll call now!

Commercial: Triangle Hero may cause itching, scratching, bleeding through ears, angry neighbors who hate music, angry cops, angry family members, angry birds, and/or boogers that come out of your belly button! If you have had either a fever, common cold, body odor, or exhaustion, do not use Triangle Hero for any reason whatsoever as it may cause death or serious injury.

* * *

><p>[Goes back to show]<p>

Me: Let's see how Cloud and Setsuna are doing.

[Cloud's head is in the trash can]

Me: I guess Cloud lost.

Setsuna: That's what you get for falling in love with Aerith! Zack should've lived!

Zack: I like this guy!

Cloud: Dammit...

Me: Okay, so now let's get down to the questions we received.

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: This question comes from GameSpazzer and this person has a question for the entire cast, he says: If you could change one thing about yourself or the storyline, what would it be?

Me: So who wants to answer first?

Cloud: I do. If I had to change something about the storyline, I would maybe want to have a better relationship with Tifa.

Crowd: Aww

Me: What about Rydia?

Cloud: Oh we broke up yesterday..

Tifa: Cloud... I love you...

Crowd: Awww

Me: And you may now kiss the bride!

[Tifa and Cloud kiss]

Zack: You guys aren't actually getting married are you?

Yuffie: Hey at least she's not acting like a bitch.

Aerith: I wish I could've lived... Stupid Sephiroth...

Zack: Same with me... I actually would've killed Sephiroth before we made it to Nibelheim.

Vincent: I would've carried a phone during Advent Children.

Yuffie: I wish I had bigger boobs.

Tifa: Oh trust me, you don't...

Yuffie: Well I'd rather have big ones than have a flat chest.

Red XIII: I wish I was never captured by Shinra in the first place.

Cloud: But we wouldn't have met you.

Barret: I would've joined Shinra and take that place down from the inside!

Me: I wish I could've been in Final Fantasy VII.

Tifa: I wish Squaresoft didn't make me look so hot... Stupid videogame perverts, and those worthless cosplayers.

Aerith: Hey! I'm not worthless...

Zack:... You cosplayed Tifa?

Me: Okay, that's enough now... Next question! This is from Victoria Valentine101, and she said: Vincent, could borrow your cape? it just looks so soft. Oh and if this isn't too much to ask can I have a hug?

Vincent: What?

Me: Just do it man...

Vincent: Well how?

Me: Just do it!

Commercial: By NIKE shoes!

Vincent: Okay...?

[Vincent takes off cape]

Vincent: How am I supposed to give this to her?

Me: How should I know? Just do it!

Commercial: By NIKE shoes!

[Vincent exits and gives cape to Victoria, then comes back]

Me: Did you give her a hug?

Vincent:...

[Vincent exits, then comes back a few minutes later]

Me: How was it?

Vincent: She gave a soft hug, and she was really happy about the cape.

Me: Well that's good.

Yuffie: I want a hug now!

Aerith: Me too!

Barret: How about me!

Me: I like hugs too.

Red XIII: Hey I may not be human, but I can still stand on two feet!

[Everyone has a group hug]

Yuffie: Vincent, you give like the best hugs ever!

Zack: Yeah! I almost got a boner!

[Awkward Silence]

Me: Well that's all the time today, don't forget to submit your truth or dare questions! I'm your host, Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: The Advent Children Show!

**Special Thanks:**

**GameSpazzer**

**Victoria Valentine101**


	6. Episode 6: Cloud vs Vincent

Thanks to everyone who reviewed up to this point! All because of you, I'm doing an early update!

**Episode 6: Cloud vs. Vincent**

Me: Welcome to Episode 6 of "The Advent Children Show"!

Crowd: [cheers]

Me: And I have to say, our last episode got LOTS of feedback, so were gonna skip the audience question and jump right into the questions we received from the people at FanFiction!

Me: First dare comes from zexydemyx66 and this person says: I would like to dare Zack to kiss you  
>Jonathan.<p>

Crowd: [Cheers loudly]

Zack: Whoa whoa whoa! What?

Me: But... I'm not gonna kiss him!

Vincent: Just do it!

Commercial: By NIKE shoes!

Zack: fine...

[Me and Zack kiss]

Everyone: [Goes crazy!]

[Cloud takes picture]

Me: Hey! What did you just do?

Cloud: This is going on Facebook!

Zack: Oh hell no!

[Zack chases Cloud]

Me: I hope you're satisfied zexydemyx66! Next question!

Me: This one comes from my awesome friend, Victoria Valentine101 and her question is for Cloud and Vincent: If you two got in a fight, who would win?

Vincent: Psh! Me! Duh!

Cloud: What the hell are you talking about? I beat Sephiroth! Twice!

Vincent: Yeah! ? Well why don't we fight right now to see who wins! ?

Cloud: Hell yeah!

Me: Okay, to make this a fair match, they're gonna do boxing!

Cloud and Vincent: What!

Me: Which means no weapons!

Cloud: Alright fine! I'll go Manny Pacquiao on your ass Vincent!

Vincent: Place your bets on me everyone! You don't wanna lose your money to this chocobo!

Me: Okay, enough trash talk! Let's fight!

Me: And because we have sooooo many questions to get to, this will be only a two round match!

Cloud: We don't need two rounds, I'll smash this guy's ass in the first ten seconds!

Tifa: I'm placing my bet on Cloud!

Yuffie: I got mine on Vincent!

Barret: Spikey is gonna win!

Aerith: Cloud!

Zack: Cloud's gonna win!

Barret: Yuffie, you better place your bet on Cloud!

Yuffie: Shut the hell up!

Me: Who wants to be the ring girl?

Tifa: I wann -

Me: Besides Tifa! How about Aerith?

Aerith: What?

Me: Just do it!

Commercial: By NIKE shoes!

Aerith: Fine!

Me: Let the fight begin!

[Stage turns into a boxing ring]

[Cloud and Vincent go to their corners]

Yuffie: Okay Vincent, let's show these bitches what you got! You better win!

Vincent: I got it.

Tifa: Okay Cloud, I'm counting on you to knock this guy out, alright?

Cloud: No sweat.

[Aerith walks the ring with a sign that says 'Round 1']

Crowd: [Cheers]

Zack: Whoo! Aerith's lookin' fine!

Me: Okay boys I want a clean, fair match okay? Let's answer Victoria Valentine101's question and move on. Touch gloves, and lets go!

[Ding ding!]

[Cloud starts punching Vincent all over his body, Vincent continues trying to block. Then Cloud hooks Vincent in the face!]

Tifa: You got this Cloud!

[Vincent attempts to punch, but Cloud blocks and hooks his face once again. Vincent goes down.]

Me: 1! 2! 3! 4!

[Vincent gets up and starts punching Cloud blindly]

[Cloud knocks him down again!]

Me: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6!

[Vincent gets up]

Vincent: I'm not through with you yet!

[Vincent hooks Cloud's face, then does it on the other side]

Yuffie: Yeah! Beat his ass Vincent!

[Vincent gets Cloud's face again and Cloud falls!]

Me: 1! 2! 3!

[Cloud gets up]

[Ding ding!]

Tifa: Cloud, you got him down twice already, so get him again!

Yuffie: You have to focus, Vincent!

Vincent: Don't worry, I was just getting warmed up!

[Ding ding!]

Zack: Whoo! Aerith!

[Vincent uppercuts Cloud, then Cloud tries at Vincent's face but was blocked. Vincent saw his chance and hooks Cloud's left, but at the same time, was hooked on his left as well. They get tangled, then hang on to each other]

Me: [breaks them up] Okay let's not be gay now.

[Cloud jabs Vincent, then Vincent get's his right, then starts doing combos]

Yuffie: Yeah! Get that mother****er!

[Cloud falls]

Me: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8!

[Cloud gets up]

[Cloud and Vincent start punching at each other blindly, then they get each others faces. They both fall]

Me: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!

Everyone: [cheers]

Me: It seems like it's a tie from the judges.

Tifa: What! ?

Yuffie: What? !

Cloud: Good fight man.

Vincent: Same with you, you fought well and you have my respect.

Me: I'm surprised myself. I thought Cloud was gonna win, but whatever. Next question!

[Sephiroth walks in]

Sephiroth: I bet they couldn't beat me!

Me: Yeah, yeah, screw you!

Everyone: [Laughs]

Sephiroth: Bully!

Me: Okay, so this person, Xille794 has FOUR questions for us! The first one is for Sephiroth: How the hell can you weild that damn sword with ONE HAND!

Sephiroth: Oh... Well... You know... 'Cause I'm from freakin' SOLDIER that's why!

Zack: Hell yeah!

Sephiroth: Besides, my sword was never too heavy for me. I guess my arm was strong.

Me: The second question is for Red XIII: What was the first thing that came into your mind when Hojo tried to force you and Aerith to mate?

Red XIII: Oh great, not this again.

Zack: Whoa whoa whoa! What the hell! You tried to f*** my girl? !

Red XIII: No! It's not like that! I was forced to do it!

Aerith: I'm glad Cloud and the others rescued me in time.

Red XIII: Well to answer the question, I just thought that Hojo was freakin' nuts! And I wasn't gonna do it with him watching me and Aerith the whole time!

Zack: So you're saying you would've done it if you guys were alone?

Red XIII: No!

Me: Oookay! Her third question is for Sephiroth again: If you could swap your weapon with anyone, who would it be?

Sephiroth: Okay, well what makes you think I want to swap my really awesome sword with these other guys' weapons?

Me: Don't be rude man...

Barret: Hey! You just have a sword, I have a gun! As my arm!

Sephiroth: But If I had to choose, it would be Cloud's buster sword, because it was big, AND I can hold it with one hand.

Me: Okay, and the last question from this person is for Vincent: am I allowed to get in on that hug deal?

Vincent: Well... If it's a dude, then I hope he doesn't get a boner.

Zack: Oh Yeah!

Me: Just go hug em!

Vincent: okay okay.

[Vincent goes and comes back later]

Me: Next question! This is from Vergil132 and this person says: Hi Zack, I have a dare for you. I dare you to french kiss Cloud in front of every one. :}

Zack: Okay what the hell? I'm always kissing guys here.

Cloud: Dude, let's just do this and get it over with.

[Cloud pulls Zack in his face and puts his tongue in Zack's mouth]

Everyone: [Goes crazy]

Me: [Takes a picture]

[Cloud and Zack pull away]

Cloud: What was that for?

Me: This is going on Facebook! Now we're even! Next question!

Cloud: Dammit!

Me: This is from i-love-cloud-strife and this person's question is probably for Cloud hence her screen name: Did you ever have a crush on Sephiroth? Because you said he used to be your hero ;)

Cloud: What the hell? So many YOAI fans...

Zack: Cloud and Sephiroth sitting in a tree! F – U – C – K – I - -

Cloud: Shut up! That's really creepy. And no, I did not have a crush on him.

Sephiroth: Really? You didn't think my long silver hair was sexy?

Cloud: Okay maybe that was sexy... But I didn't have a crush on you.

Sephiroth:...

Me: The last question comes from ffvii gal and she says: Hi Tifa, do your breasts ever get in the way during a fight?

Tifa: Yes! All... The... Freaking... Time...

Everyone: [Laughs]

Tifa: That's why I use hand to hand combat and not use guns or anything like that. Because my boob could get in front of it.

Me: Seriously?

Tifa: Yup! And that's why Yuffie should keep her small breasts because when she's going ninja, she doesn't want any 'bombs' getting in her way.

Yuffie: I guess you're right about that.

Me: Wow, today was great, wasn't it guys?

Barret: Yeah, your show's becoming successful!

Aerith: So when is your band gonna play here on the show?

Me: I already told you guys! You're not real!

Yuffie: Who cares? It would still be cool!

Me: [Sigh]

Cloud: By the way, Sephiroth, how was Bikini Bottom?

Sephiroth: Well it was interesting. I got in a fight with a strong lobster, and a fat crab... Then I destroyed it!

Everyone: You did what? !

**Don't forget to submit your truth or dare questions! Hope this update was fast enough for you guys!**

**Special Thanks:**

**zexydemyx66**

**Victoria Valentine101**

**Xille794**

**Vergil132**

**i-love-cloud-strife**

**ffvii gal**

**YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!**


	7. Episode 7: I'm Back!

**Episode 7: I'm back!**

Me: Hello everybody! I am finally back!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Cloud: Damn Jonathan, its been pretty much a month since you updated this, what took you so long?

Me: I'll be glad to answer that for you. Well I had to celebrate my birthday which was on August 9th.

Yuffie: Happy Birthday!

Me: Well it's kind of late for that...

Barret: How old are you?

Me: I turned 15.

Zack: Did you have a good birthday?

Me: Yeah, so anyway, we have so many questions coming in from a bunch of users! So we'll have to skip the audience question again.

Me: First question comes from Xille794 and the question for everybody is: **If you had access to a Death Note. Who would be the first person you kill?**

Aerith: Ooh! I go first!

Me: Let me guess...

Everyone: Sephiroth.

Aerith: Wow! You guys are good! How did you know?

Me: There has got to be blonde hair under all that brunette...

Cloud: I would kill Sephiroth as well.

Barret: I would kill whoever invented Shinra.

Tifa: I would kill one of the Square Enix character designers.

Me: Careful Tifa, remember what happened last time one of you guys said something bad about Square Enix?

Tifa: Whatever..

Zack: I would've killed Osama Bin Laden.

Everyone: True.

Yuffie: I wouldn't kill anybody.

Tifa: Why not? Wouldn't you wanna kill me?

Yuffie: Tifa, you're like my bestfriend. I would never kill you.

Everyone: Aww.

Me: In one episode they were fighting each other, and now they love each other.

Me: Next question from Victoria Valentine101: **Everyone: If you could switch lives with anyone for a day, who would it be? **

Zack and Cloud: Tifa!

Tifa: Whoa, why me?

Me: Isn't it obvious? They want to be you for a day so they could mess around with your big boo-

[Zack punches me in the face]

Aerith: I would want to be Yuffie, because I want to be a ninja for a day.

Random Person: NINJA!

Yuffie: I would want to be Aerith. Sometimes I just want to look hopeless and weak.

Cloud: Aerith, she just called you weak.

Aerith: Watch out Yuffie, I can make an earthquake any time of the day!

Yuffie: Like the one in Japan?

Me: Okay, that's messed up. I was born there.

Barret: I wanna be Jonathan now! I wanna be a little Japanese boy for a day!

Me: I'm not Japanese, I was just born in Japan.

Zack: Then what are you?

Me: Filipino.

Random Person: Manny Pacquiao!

Me: Next question comes from Dante Ecnatsiser: **Cloud:** **How the hell does your hair stick up like that? Also, good luck with Tifa ;) **

Cloud: Thank you, Dante. And about my hair... Well, let's just say I use the mucus from chocobos.

Everyone: [Gross's out]

Me: No wonder everyone mistakes you for a chocobo.

Me: Next dare comes from neon-chan, and it's for Cloud: **Hi Cloud! I dare you to dress up in your pretty girl outfit for a whole chapter! :) **

Cloud: Oh dammit...

Tifa: Don't forget to put your boobs on.

Aerith: And your tampon.

Cloud: Thanks...

[Cloud goes away to the bathroom]

Me: While we wait for Cloud to get dressed up, lets answer the next question.

Me: Apparently, the question from zexydemyx66 has Cloud in it, so we'll hold off on that. These next 3 dares come from Danteshouldbeinff7:

**1. I dare you to hug me. (I'm only 12, so I'm not that creepy.)**

**2. Tifa I dare you to do it with Cloud.**

**3. Vincent, I dare you to talk about philosophy with me.**

Tifa: To be honest, this guy is creepy.

Me: Shut up Tifa, and do the dares.

Vincent: What's philosophy?

Me: How should I know? It's summer still.

Tifa: Okay I hugged him, now what?

Me: You have to go make babies with your man, Cloud.

Cloud: I'm back.

[Cloud comes back in dress and make up]

Tifa: Better take all that off baby, I'll be making love to you right now..

Cloud: What the hell did I miss?

[Tifa takes off her shirt]

Me: Okay... To keep this at a Rated: T level, we're gonna have to cut to commercial. We'll be back after they're done.

[Goes to commercial]

Commercial 1: Does your hair sag?

Teen Boy: Yes.

Commercial 1: Have you attempted to cosplay Cloud or Zack, but get laughed at at the conventions by other nerds who have no life but sit by their Playstation and play Final Fantasy VII all day?

Teen Boy: All the time!

Commercial 1: Then say hello to Chocobo Mucus! The same gel that is used by Cloud Strife and Zack Fair themselves!

Teen Boy: What makes it so strong?

Commercial 1: We don't f***ing know!

Teen Boy: Wow! That's the most informational thing I've ever heard!

Commercial 1: Put it on your hair! Put it on your mustache! Put it on your beard! Put it on your pe-

Commercial 2: BEEP! This commercial has stopped due to it prohibiting the rating for Rated: T. The writer does not intend to surpass that rating to go to Rated: M as it may cause some of his readers to stop reading this story.

Commercial 1: So stop waiting! And call right now!

[Goes back to show]

[Tifa and Cloud are in the room]

Me: I guess we can all listen in.

Tifa: Oh Cloud! Oh yes! Give it to me! Let me suck it!

Cloud: Yes Tifa! Suck it hard!

Tifa: Oh my God, this tastes so freakin' good! OH!

Cloud: Oh Tifa! You like that?

Tifa: Yes Cloud! Ugh! Such an awesome lollipop!

Me: What the hell? A lollipop?

[Opens the door to the room to see Tifa licking a lollipop]

Tifa: Oh hey, Jonathan!

Zack: Is that what you guys were doing the whole time?

Me: I thought you guys were supposed to be doing it.

Tifa: Oh well we finished that already!

Me: That fast?

Tifa: Cloud was a virgin until now.

Me: I see... Next question! But let's go back to zexydemyx66's question first. She says**: Zack and Cloud have to tell the truth of who they really like.**

Zack: Well I think it's pretty obvious for both of us. I like Aerith.

Cloud: And I just did it with Tifa, so you know I like her.

Me: Okay, next dare, this is from LilyStewart: **I TRIPLE DOG DARE CLOUD AND ZACK TO GO HEAD TO HEAD ON THE GAME "NEVER HAVE I EVER".**

Aerith: Well this should be fun.

Zack: Do we need to use alcohol.

Me: Well since both of you guys are of legal age, then go ahead.

Zack: I'll go first!

[Zack and Cloud put their hands up]

Zack: Never have I ever had sex with Tifa!

Cloud: Damn!

[Cloud takes a drink. Cloud: 9]

Cloud: Never have I ever not read 88 letters that I received from one girl!

Zack: Bitch! I just read all 88 of them yesterday!

Cloud: Dammit!

[Cloud: 8]

Me: Looks like Zack is in the lead after the first round.

Zack: Never have I EVER tried to suck my own p****.

Cloud: What the hell? Tifa! I told you not to tell anybody!

Tifa: I didn't!

Zack: She didn't HAHAHA!

Cloud: Dammit!

[Cloud takes a drink Cloud: 7]

Cloud: Never have I ever... Died.

Everyone: OOHH!

Zack: That's a good one Cloud!

[Zack takes a drink. Zack: 9]

Me: While they're playing, let's answer another one of LilyStewart's dares: **I dare Jonathan to put Genesis and Angeal on the show and make them sword fight again. I also dare Tifa to beat the crap out of Yuffie (she deserves it).**

Yuffie: Man... Again? We were just starting to get along.

Tifa: Sorry Yuffie.

[Tifa uses Beat Rush and Somersault on Yuffie, and then finishes off with Final Heaven]

[Yuffie is on the ground]

Yuffie: Oww...

Me: Thanks for the dare Lily, now let's get back to Cloud and Zack's "Never Have I Ever Game".

[Cloud: 5, Zack: 6]

[They are both drunk as hell]

Cloud: Never... Have I... Ever... Did your mom.

Zack: Aha!... Bitch! I never did... My mom...

Cloud: Wait... but I... did your mom before...

Zack: You liar...! you said... you were a virgin until... today...

Cloud: I did her... dumb...ass... now I have to take another... drink.

[Cloud: 4]

Zack: Okay my turn... asshole!... Never have I EVER... been born with blonde hair!

Cloud: Ahhhhhh... S***... Now I have to take another drink.

Me: What alcohol are they using Tifa?

Tifa: I put moonshine in their glasses.

Me: Oh s*** no wonder they're so f***** up.

[Cloud: 3]

Cloud: Dammit... I am losing by like... 50...

Zack: No.. you're losing by... 2... dumbass...

Aerith: Zack always sucked at math.

Cloud: No you're the dumbass... dumbass... hahaha... never have I ever... did your mom.

Zack: You already asked that...!

Cloud: Okay okay fine... Never have I ever... masterbated to a guy before...

Zack: Aha! You suck at this game... I only masterbate to girls... especially Aerith... Gains... borough...

Aerith: [blushes]

Cloud: Man... this is so hard...

Quagmire: GIGGIDY!

[Cloud: 2]

Zack: Never have I ever... been called a chocobo...

Cloud: People... call me a... chocobo... all the time...! f***.

[Cloud: 1]

Cloud: I quit...!

Zack: You quitter...! Look... everybody... look... It's Cloud... the... quitter... And he likes men... Yeah... men...!

Cloud: Come here Tifa... And make love to me!

[Cloud grabs Tifa and starts making out with her]

Zack: Tifa is a man...! And that's why... Cloud... likes men...! Yeah... men...!

[Zack takes a drink]

Me: Okay Zack, I think you've had too much of that s***.

Zack: Admit it Cloud, I won...!

Cloud: Tifa... I wanna do you for the first time...

Tifa: Cloud, you already did.

Cloud: Fine then! We... are over...!

Tifa: What! ?

Barret: Don't worry Tifa, Cloud's just drunk.

Cloud: I am not drunk...

Zack: And neith...er... am I! I can do any dare!

Me: Okay then... Last dare comes from xxCloudTifaxx: **I have a dare for Zack. I dare him to dress up as a chicken and do the chicken dance.**

Cloud: I can do the chicken dance...!

Zack: No...! That person asked... Me...!... to do it...

[Zack puts on chicken costume]

Zack: It's so tight in here...!

Quagmire: GIGGIDY!

Zack: Alright... bitches... crank up the music...!

[puts on the chicken dance song]

Zack: Now if I was drunk... could I do this...?

[Zack starts flapping the wings]

Crowd: [Laughs loudly]

Zack: That's right... now I'm gonna shake my butt... like a chicken...!

[Zack starts shaking his butt at the audience]

[Zack makes his hands in a talking fashion]

Barret: Man, I can't wait till we show this to him the next episode.

Zack: That's right...! I'm not drunk...!

[Zack's cheeks puff out]

Red XIII: He's gonna puke!

Me: Take cover!

[Zack throws up on a person in the crowd]

Genesis: Okay what the hell? Zack just puked on me!

Zack: I'm not drunk!...

[Zack pukes on another person]

Angeal: I'm not cleaaning after this puppy again like I used to...

Everyone: Genesis! Angeal!

Me: Now that you two are here, we can do another one of LilyStewart's dares. The one where you guys have to sword fight again.

Angeal: It'll be my pleasure.

Genesis: Loser has to clean the winner's clothes.

Angeal: Deal.

[Angeal and Genesis shake hands]

[They unsheathe their swords]

Genesis: "When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end"

Angeal: Ahh, shut up!

Zack: Kick his ass... Angeal...!

[Genesis runs toward Angeal and does a one-hand horizontal slice with the sword. Angeal blocks it and tries to get at Genesis' legs. Genesis backflips out of the way and runs up and does a vertical slash which is blocked by Angeal's sword. They push at each other with their strength.]

Genesis: "The goddess descends from the sky"

Angeal: Loveless isn't gonna help you win this fight.

[Angeal breaks the force and goes at Genesis with a flurry of combos, but Genesis blocks and dodges them all. Genesis backflips away to save some time, then starts doing showing off his own sword skills to Angeal. Soon all you can hear is the sound of metal crashing into each other as both fighters are in close combat going at each other and showing no sign of mercy.]

Crowd: [In awe]

[Genesis with full concentration, knocks Angeal's sword out of his hand with his own, then Genesis points his sword at Angeal's neck showing that he is the winner.]

Me: Wow, looks like Genesis is the winner.

Everyone: [Cheers very loudly]

Angeal: Well done.

Genesis: Maybe Loveless did save me this time.

Angeal: Maybe it did.

[Genesis and Angeal grab arms]

Genesis: You're still cleaning these clothes.

Angeal: I know. I know.

Me: Wow, what a great episode this was. We'll see you next time, don't forget to post your truth or dare questions. I'm Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: The Advent Children Show!

**Special Thanks:**

**Xille794**

**Victoria Valentine101**

**Dante Ecnatsiser**

**neon-chan**

**zexydemyx66**

**Danteshouldbeinff7**

**LilyStewart**

**xxCloudTifaxx**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	8. Episode 8: Back to School Special

**Episode 8: Back to School Special**

Me: Welcome back to the Advent Children Show everybody!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: This is a special episode, because it'll be the last one before I go to school.

Crowd: Aww

Me: I will still be writing, but school comes first.

Zack: Ahh I hate school.

Me: Yeah, shut up! I'm lucky to be having a good education.

Cloud: When do you start?

Me: I actually start tomorrow, for sophomore year.

Me: I started writing for FanFiction this summer, so I'm gonna miss writing as much as I did.

Aerith: What was your first fic?

Me: I'm glad you asked. My very first fanfiction that I wrote for the site is a one-shot called "Tell Me You Love Me".

Aerith: Oh yeah! I remember that one.

Zack: I didn't read it, what's it about?

Me: It's where Aerith cheats on you, but you guys make up.

Cloud: So that's where it all started huh?

Me: Yup! I'm a sucker for awesome romance stories.

Tifa: You should write one about me and Cloud.

Crowd: Aww

Me: I am, it's called "Midgar High School". It's also a Zack and Aerith story too.

Zack: I think I'm gonna go read it.

Me: Okay, but not now, we gotta do the questions, and the dares of our readers.

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: First one comes from my awesome reader Victoria Valentine101: **Cloud: I have noticed that in Advent Children some of your swords end up getting tossed around and thrown everywhere, so have your swords hit anything or anyone before?**

Cloud: Well actually-

Tifa: Oh! Don't get me started on his damn swords!

Cloud: Here we go again...

Tifa: I swear, if my boobs were bigger than they already are, they would've been cut in half by each one of his swords.

Me: Haha, that's funny.

Tifa: And you know what I have to do about it? I have to pick up each and every one of them. Cloud, you need to learn to clean up your own stuff.

Cloud: Wait what?

Me: That's domestic violence dude.

Cloud: I'm sure she's just over reac-

Barret: One of your stupid swords almost cut off my other arm!

Cloud: I can explain that-

Barret: You almost killed Marlene too.

Cloud: Well...

Me: That's child abuse dude.

Cloud: What? No!

Random girl: You almost killed me too!

Sephiroth: Hey, look it's Yuna from Final Fantasy X.

Cloud: How could I have almost killed YOU?

Yuna: One of your swords went through a portal into the Final Fantasy X world, and it almost took my head off.

Cloud: …

Me: That's domestic violence dude.

Me: Next dare from Victoria Valentine101: Everyone: **I dare all of you to take a guess on my favorite color, my favorite type of animal, and my favorite thing to do.**

Aerith: Ooh! I go first! Pink, a chocobo, and using healing powers.

Me: Umm... Aerith, she was talking about her, not you.

Aerith: What?... Ohhhh

Me: Do you have blonde roots?

Cloud: I guess: Yellow, your favorite animal is a tiger, and you like to read fan fictions.

Me: That's a pretty good guess.

Tifa: I say black, a wolf , and you like to play videogames

Vincent: All of you guys are wrong! Since she's such a big fan of me, her favorite color is red, her favorite animal must be something dark like a wolf or a snake or something, and she probably likes to listen to awesome music.

Me: I think those are great guesses. I think her favorite color is blue, she likes birds, and she likes to play some kind of instrument.

Sephiroth: Her favorite color is silver, she likes a bull, and she likes to kill people.

Me: Yeah, because I'm totally sure she's a murderer.

Tifa: Have you all noticed that we guessed the things that we like?

Barret: Yeah! Her favorite color is ebony, she likes dogs, and she likes to replace her arm with a gun.

Red XIII: Wow, her favorite color is red, she likes lions, and she likes to fight for her tribe.

Me: Okay everyone, stop. So we've made our dumb guesses and we'll see how close we get. The winner gets a cookie.

Aerith: I like cookies.

Me: Yeah, whatever. Next question comes from another one of my awesome readers xxCloudTifaxx: **Cloud do you really love Tifa? If so tell her how you feel and put her out of her misery.**

Cloud: Of course I love her.

Everyone: Aww

Tifa: Really Cloud?

Cloud: Tifa, I had sex with you, I've been friends with you ever since the first grade, I've come to your rescue every time you needed me.

Zack: Not every time.

Cloud: Shut up!... But do I love Tifa, you bet I do.

Everyone: Awwwwww

Me: [Sniffle]

Aerith: Jonathan, are you crying.

Zack: Dude, you're crying.

Me: I told you guys [sniffle] I'm a sucker for awesome love stories. [Stops crying] but not the stupid girly kind.

Cloud: Any other questions or dares?

Me: Yes we do, we have 5 entries from my awesome reader Xille794: **Okay first: For Vincent: How does it feel to have the only person you ever loved die, and stalk you in your dreams?**

Vincent: Well... Knowing that Jonathan hasn't finished FFVII and has never played any of the Dirge of Cerberus games, and he's the one writing down everything that I'm saying. Then I have no idea what you're talking about. But to answer the question anyway: It felt very good at first to have that person with me, but then it got annoying.

Me: Man, if only my PS2 still worked I would play those games.

Vincent: Yeah, dumbass. You made me look like a fool.

Me: Sorry Vince. Next dare: **2: A dare for Cloud. I dare you, TO MAKE OUT WITH RED XIII, and when your done with that, A CHOOBO'S BUTT!**

Cloud: It's always me that has to do all the hard stuff.

Barret: Aww man! I have to piss, but I don't wanna miss anything.

Me: Just go.

Barret: Fine.

[Barret exit]

Cloud: Pucker up Red.

Red XIII: No! Wait!-

[Cloud grabs Red XIII's face and starts making out and kissing him.]

Red XIII: [Tries to escape.] 

Me: Aww man! The Yaoi fans are gonna love this!

[Cloud and Red XIII stop]

Red XIII: Dude! You stuck your tongue down my throat!

Tifa: Cloud does have a really long tongue.

Me: Okay, get the chocobo in here.

Cloud: Damn, I almost forgot.

Me: Time to make out with that chocobo ass!

Cloud: I don't wanna!

Me: Sit on him!

[The chocobo sits on Cloud's face]

Cloud: [Muffled screams]

[Cloud desperately tries to get away]

[The chocobo farts]

Cloud: [louder muffled screaming]

Crowd: [Laughs hysterically]

Me: [Laughs] If only this show was real!

[Chocobo stands up and walks away]

Cloud: AHHH! HOLY S***!

Everyone: [ROFL]

Cloud: Don't you ever make me do that again!

Me: Okay okay

Barret: Man! I missed it!

Me: Sorry Barret, Next question:** 3: Question for Sephiroth: Do you even know what your real last name is? (I do, and it's Crescent.)**

Sephiroth: Looks like I have a stalker because I never knew that was my last name.

Me: Don't insult the fans Sephiroth. Next: **4: For Vincent: How did it feel to hug me, a small shiny Pikachu wearing headphones, 'cos you never said so? **

Vincent: Oh yeah, I forgot to say... You were listening to some awesome music, then when I hugged you, you shocked me!

Me: Pikachu's are awesome.

Vincent: Just never touch their tails... It's very sensitive.

Me: Thanks for the advice. Last dare: **Lastly a dare for everyone: I dare you all to spend the rest of the episode in your... *drumroll*... UNDERWEAR!**

Aerith: Aww crap.

Me: What?

Aerith: I didn't put any panties on today.

Me: My gosh you're so blonde..

Zack: That's hot!

Me: Yes, but very inappropriate. Go put on some panties.

Aerith: Okay.

[Aerith exit]

Everyone: [Takes off clothes]

[Long pause]

Barret: Well this is awkward knowing that it's mostly guys.

Cloud: Tifa looks hot.

Tifa: Stop staring at my boobs.

Cloud: Sorry.

Aerith: I'm back!

Everyone: OOH!

Me: Aerith, where is your bra?

Aerith: You just said to put on panties.

Me: That doesn't mean to take all your other clothes off.

Aerith:...Ohhhh... Okay, BRB!

Me: She had to dye her hair brunette... She had to.

Aerith: Okay I'm back.

Me: Good.

Cloud: Sooo... what now?

Me: You wanna see what you and Zack were like last episode?

Zack: Wait what?

Me: You guys were drunk remember?

Cloud: Okay, let's see the video.

[a few minutes later]

Cloud and Zack: What the f***?

**Thank you for the entries everyone! Have a good school year!**

**Special Thanks:**

**Victoria Valentine101**

**xxCloudTifaxx**

**Xille794**


	9. Episode 9: New Rules

**Episode 9: New Rules**

Me: Hola, mi amigos!

Crowd: [Cheers]

Me: Hell yeah! And I am back after a week of school!

Cloud: How was it, Jonathan?

Me: It was good! But I recently got a schedule change so now I'm pretty pissed.

Cloud: Oh okay, so what up with the episode title?

Me: What do you mean?

Cloud: The title is called "New Rules".

Me: Oh okay, thank you for that, believe it or not, I have created new rules for those people that are putting in their truth or dare entries.

Aerith: Uh oh, what happened?

Me: Well, I'm not gonna name any names, but people have recently been daring one or more characters to do sexual things.

Tifa: They were probably for me huh?

Me: You bet. Sure, it was okay the first few times we did it, but when people are actually serious... Well, it gets serious.

Cloud: What do you mean?

Me: What I mean is, my fics are rated: T. Not rated: M. Unfortunately, if the readers are looking for sex or anything related, then they need to go somewhere else. This is not the place to do it. Now the thing with Cloud and Tifa having sex in the room was for s***s and giggles, not for people to be masterbating to.

Tifa: So what is the new rule?

Me: I know the reviewers for this show are VERY creative, so to not limit them too much, all I ask is if you want 2 or more characters to do certain things, you can, but only for comedy, not for pornography. I promise you, it will all be censored. Not to be mistaken, I do make a lot of sexual jokes during this show, but that's different.

Cloud: I have a feeling you're gonna start to lose some of your readers.

Me: It doesn't matter, they can read whatever they want. I'm not going to force them to just read mine.

Aerith: That's very mature of you.

Me: Thank you Aerith.

Zack: Any other rules?

Me: Well... It's not a rule, it's more like a suggestion. There are a lot of reviewers that ask for hugs from the characters, which is fine if you have a big imagination, but it's not something that I can easily type on my computer. So if you don't mind, I would like minimum character to reader interaction. Oh and another rule, which is gonna piss off most of my readers... Umm... I will only allow one entry after every episode. Sorry.

Vincent: Hey, but I like giving hugs.

Me: So do I Vince, but I'm sorry.

Zack: Hey, Jonnycake-

Me: Jonnycake?

Zack: I saw "The Outsiders" yesterday, but anyway, I realized that nobody asks you any questions.

Me: Hmm... you're right.

Cloud: Maybe because you're not one of the characters from Final Fantasy VII.

Me: True, and I guess there are a lot of internet perverts out there (You know who you are) so I guess that wouldn't be good.

Barret: I have a question for you.

Me: Okay go ahead bro.

Barret: Do you have a girlfriend?

[Long pause]

Me: That's a question I'm not going to answer.

Tifa: Aww c'mon John.

Aerith: That rhymed!

Red XIII: No s***.

Me: Sorry, you can ask me general questions, but nothing personal please.

Me: We got a few questions from my usual AWESOME reader Victoria Valentine101: Sephiroth: Did you know that a LOT of people have said your name wrong? They say it like Se-TH-iroth. I just wondered if that drove you nuts.

Sephiroth: What the hell?

Me: Haha I showed my mother your name and she said it like that.

Sephiroth: I'm gonna kill your mother.

Everyone: [Gasps]

Me: Get the hell out of here before I kick your ass!

Sephiroth: [flip me off] [exits]

Me: I guess the answer is yes.

Me: Next question: Red XIII: What is your favorite food? The reason I am asking is because my brother says it's dog food.

Red XIII: Gross! The first time I tried dog food, not only did I get diarrhea, but I projectile vomited as well.

Me: That's more information than I needed, thank you very much.

Red XIII: But to answer the question, I love human food! Especially fried chicken.

Barret: Hell yeah!

Zack: That's funny because he's black!

Me: Don't be racist Zack.

Me: Next: And Zack: Hi-

Zack: Hi there!

Me: Ummm... Who do you like better as a friend? Genesis or Sephiroth?

Zack: You serious? Of course, it's Genesis! He never tried to kill Aerith, and we had a great moment together with the last minutes of his life when we ate the apples.

Me: Ahh... I miss playing Crisis Core.

Sephiroth: I hate that game! They made me look evil.

Me: Isn't that because you are?

Sephiroth: Oh yeah... Well I'm gonna go kill some people, so bye!

Cloud: Typical Sephiroth...

Me: Oh my God!

Aerith: What?

Me: I just looked at the reviews section, and I realized there are so many entries...

Aerith: Dang, what are you gonna do?

Me: Unfortunately, for the people who put in multiple entries, I will accept one.

Zack: That's gonna cause you to lose a lot of fans.

Me: I'm aware of what's going to happen. I'm only 15 bro, and I've got an Asian mom that'll whip me if I don't get straight A's.

Aerith: Holy crap, are you serious?

Me: No, but I do need to get straight A's. But that's enough about me, on with the show.

Me: This one's from ade: Zack, I dare you to kiss Cissnei!

Zack: Again?

Aerith: What do you mean again?

Zack: Well, we've made out before.

Aerith: You what! ?

Me: Awwkwaaaard!

Aerith: This is why I never wanted you to go on your stupid missions with her!

Cissnei: Okay, I'm here.

Aerith: You BITCH!

[Aerith jumps on Cissnei and starts hitting her]

Barret: Cat Fight!

Me: Aww Hell yeah!

[Aerith is winning]

Aerith: You whore!

Me: Let's skip that dare for now shall we... Next.

Me: From Skiestrife: Zack, were you ever attracted to Cloud at all?

Zack: Umm...

Red XIII: Zack's coming out of the closet!

Cloud: Whoa bro!

Zack: Hey man! I carried that blonde boy's ass everywhere! There were no girls for all the years I was gone, so I had to pleasure myself to somebody!

[Silence]

[Aerith and Cissnei stop fighting]

Cloud: Dude! What the hell did you do to me while I was all up on that Mako crap?

Zack: Umm...

Me: Now how's that for your new roofies? Haha!

Cloud: Aww c'mon dude!

Me: Next! From my awesome reader Xille794: for Red XIII, Cait Sith, Barret and Vincent. How does it feel to be the only FFVII characters to not feature on the Kingdom Hearts game series?

Vincent: Do you wanna know what I think about that? !

Cait Sith: Here he goes again..

Vincent: I had my own video games bro! But noooooo, Square Enix decides to be a bitch and ignore the emo-looking character!

Red XIII: Hold up there Vince! You don't wanna piss off the producers.

Cait Sith: Yeah, me and Red don't even care.

Vincent: But I do dammit!

Cloud: I can't believe Zack raped my unconscious body.

Zack: Dude, I thought we were done with that.

Me: Okay guys, I am so sorry. But I gotta end this chapter. I truly am sorry, I'm actually thinking of canceling the show.

Everyone: What? !

Me: I'm sorry, but there's still a slim chance of me continuing this, but until then, I'm Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: [Says dully] The Advent Children Show.

**Guys, I'm really sorry, but thanks for those who have been with this fic since the beginning. It was fun while it lasted. I honestly was writing this chapter for three weeks, no joke... I'm sorry if the chapter seems very unorganized, I'm not feeling it anymore. So yeah, you guys rule though. I love you! **

**Special Thanks: Everyone! I don't care if you didn't submit anything, I still thank you especially!**


	10. Episode 10: Final Goodbyes

Disclaimer: You guys know Square Enix right? Well it's too bad that I have NOTHING to do with it!

**Episode 10: Final Goodbyes**

Me: Hello readers! Did you miss me!

Crowd: [Cheers loudly]

Cloud: Holy crap man! It's been like how many months now?

Me: I don't know like 5?

Aerith: I so missed being on this show.

Zack: Sweet! I can't wait to answer some new questions!

Me: Then you'll be disappointed.

Zack: Whoa! What do you mean?

Me: Apparently, this is the last episode for the Advent Children Show.

Crowd: [Gasps]

Tifa: O.o

Cloud: O.O

Aerith: :'(

Barret: D:

Me: I'm so sorry guys, but school is really getting in the way. I'm just glad to be doing this for my readers.

Zack: [Sighs] Yeah, I guess... The dares were getting pretty hard and annoying.

Cloud: But it was fun though.

Aerith: NO! I'm gonna miss you!

Me: I'm going to miss you too!

Internet Troll: This show is fake and gay.

Red XIII: No it's not! We are living characters!

Zack: No, Red, we're just a part of Jonathan's imagination.

Me: And that's another reason why I need to stop this fic, I'm just growing up.

Cloud: Psh! Oh please. So I guess you're growing hair around your private area.

Me: Actually Cloud, I've been growing pubes since I was like 12.

Tifa: Eww! I so needed to know that!

Me: Blame it on Cloud.

Cloud: Hey, hold on now!

[Tifa kicks Cloud in the face]

Cloud: Oww! What the hell was that for?

Tifa: You put that image into my little innocent brain.

Cloud: (mumbles): f***ing b****

Tifa: Hey I heard that!

[Tifa kicks Cloud across the room]

Barret: Wouldn't you know it, the two always act like an old married couple.

Me: C'mon guys! This is the last episode, at least make it special.

[Door slams open]

Sephiroth: Oh my friggin' Jenova! What's up everybody?

[Sephiroth stumbles across the room]

Me: The destroyer of the earth is drunk.

Sephiroth: No! Shut up... I am totally NOT... [Swallows]... Drunk!

Cloud: He's just insanely tipsy.

Me: Okay guys, I'm sorry if this last episode is boring as f***.

Zack: Yeah, seriously [Yawns] I'm about to fall asleep here!

Barret: :D

Me: I'm sorry guys...

Barret: :DD!

Aerith: Yeah, can we leave now?

Barret: :DDD!

Me: No, no one is leaving!

Barret: :DDDD!

Everyone: WHAT?

Barret: I found a time machine! :D

Red XIII: Okay, that smile is really creepy.

Me: What do you mean you found a time machine?

Tifa: I think it means he found a time machine.

Barret: [Brings out big a** time machine]

Everyone: O_O

Barret: :D

Me: Hold your chocobos, do you even know how it works?

Napoleon Dynamite: Make sure you insert the crystals.

Everyone: -_-

Me: Get the f*** out of here Napoleon.

Napoleon: Fine! God!

Cloud: Hey, aren't they coming out with a Napoleon Dynamite cartoon?

Me: Yes.

Tifa: Hey, I think Barret got the time machine working!

Zack: Let's go back to the time before I die!

Me: Why would you wanna do that?

Zack: Well herp da dur! So I can NOT die!

Me: No, are you stupid? If everyone plays Crisis Core to see that you live in the end, you won't be as badass as a character!

Cloud: I know! Let's go back to when Sephiroth was even born and kill him as a baby.

Sephiroth: Hey!

Me: NO NO NO! We are not changing anything in the Final Fantasy plot!

Barret: Okay, so I figured out how to work the time machine!

Barret: You type in the date of where you wanna go, then pull down the lever.

Me: Sounds simple enough.

[Cloud types in the date]

Me: Cloud wait!

Zack: Hey! I get to choose the date!

[Zack pushes Cloud]

Barret: No! I'm the one who found it, so I get to choose!

[Barret pushes Zack]

[Cloud pushes Barret]

Me: Stop it!

[Barret pushes Cloud]

Aerith: Stop fighting!

[Zack pushes Barret]

Aerith: Zack! Behave yourself!

Me: Hey c'mon! You guys are grown men!

Tifa: Yeah! Grown men!

Sephiroth: Yeah, grown... Wait what?

[Cloud pushes Zack into the lever]

Red XIII: Oh damn it...

Zack: Dumb Cloud!

Cloud: What did I do?

[Cloud, Zack, and Barret argue]

[Time machine shakes]

Me: [Looks at the date]

[July 22, 2011]

[Everyone gets sucked in the time machine and disappears]

Napoleon: They should've used the crystals.

10 seconds later...

[Everyone gets out of the time machine]

Cloud: Where the hell are we?

Past Me: Okay, next dare, this is from LilyStewart: **I TRIPLE DOG DARE CLOUD AND ZACK TO GO HEAD TO HEAD ON THE GAME "NEVER HAVE I EVER".**

Present Me: We're back in Episode 7!

Present Zack: What the hell is going on?

Past Zack: Never have I ever had sex with Tifa!

Past Cloud: Damn!

Past Me: Okay, hold on! Who are you guys?

Present Me: Umm.. we're you guys... from the future...

Past Aerith: Oh my God! I look totally... The same -_-

Past Me: Wait, what are you talking about? You guys are from the future?

Present Me: Yes.

[Past Zack looks at Present Zack]

Present and Past Zack: Lookin' good!

Past Me: I'm sorry, but can you guys go back to where you came from?

Present Me: [Looks at Barret]

Present Barret: I'll have it done, just give me a couple minutes.

Past Me: Well, in that case, I know how we can make things interesting.

Present Me: Dude, I wish I knew what you were thinking.

Past Me: Let's have an all out battle between the Present and the Future!

Present Me: Or... Past and Present.

Past Cloud: Oh this will be interesting!

Present Barret: Oh wait! Nevermind, I got it working.

Present Me: Dammit Barret!

Past Me: Oh well, see you in the future!

Past Tifa: Man, my boobs got bigger...

Past Yuffie: Mine got smaller...

Past Barret: (whispers to Present Barret): So um... you know...

Present Barret: (whispers): It got longer.

Past Barret: Sweet!

[Time machine shakes]

Present Zack: See you later!

Past Everyone: Bye!

[Everyone goes back to present]

Me: Well we're back...

Aerith: The past me was so mean.

[Cloud and Zack are missing]

Me: Hey, what happened to Cloud and Zack.

[Fat Cloud and Fat Zack walk in]

Cloud: Hey guys... [Eats fried chicken]

Aerith: O.O

Zack: Duuude, that walk here was so tiring...

Me: Okay. What the f***?

Tifa: I know seriously?

Yuffie: You guys got totally fat!

Me: We go back a couple months in the past, and we changed your guys' future!

Zack: I don't know man.

Cloud: All we have to say is, this is the life!

Aerith: What life?

Zack: The life of being lazy and doing nothing...

Barret: I'll fix this.

[Barret goes back in time, then comes back]

[Cloud and Zack disappear]

Me: Did you kill them?

Barret: No!

[Normal Cloud and Normal Zack walk in]

Cloud: Sorry we're late.

Zack: Yeah, we got caught up at the GYM.

Aerith, Yuffie, and Tifa: [Drools]

Me: What did you do Barret?

Barret: I showed them a picture of them as fat lazy people.

Cloud: And I have to say, it was a nightmare.

Zack: Yeah, my man-boobs haunt me in my dreams to this day.

Me: A little too much information there.

Zack: [Shrugs]

Me: Well anyway, I'm going to have to end the show here.

Aerith: I saw that one coming :'(

Barret: Hey man, I'm gonna miss you!

[Barret hugs me, crushing me]

Internet Troll: Fake and G-

[Sephiroth slices Internet Troll's head off]

Cloud: I have to say Jonathan, this is the most fun I've had in a while.

Me: Thanks Cloud.

Tifa: Even though you guys were mean to me in the beginning, everything turned out okay.

Yuffie: Yeah, same here.

[Sephiroth approaches Me]

[Silence]

Sephiroth: Hey, Jona- whatever, you're alright.

Zack: Hey, and don't forget to play Crisis Core again.

Me: I sure will.

Cloud: And finish playing the original game too.

Me: I'm on it. :')

Internet Troll 2: Hahaha! This guy is so gay!

Me: Shut up douchebag! I'm having a moment with my imagination.

Internet Troll 2: What are gonna do about it? You're so gay, you have no life! All the friends you're gonna have are in your stupid imagination. You should kill yourself, you're better off dead!

Me: -_- (Clicks: "Block This User")

Crowd: [Laughs]

Me: That's the mature way to handle things.

Barret: Group hug!

Everyone: [Hugs Me]

Me: Okay guys, this is your host Jonathan, and this is...

Everyone: THE ADVENT CHILREN SHOW!

**Oh my gosh... It's finally over!**

**I'd like to thank EVERYONE who read this fic and sent in some questions and dares! It was all so fun while it lasted!**

**I'm sorry if this last chapter was a bit stupid and random, honestly I ran out of ideas and my brain is still in sleep mode.**

**It's not over yet though! I will try to update my other fics as well, so stay tuned for that.**

**It's been a long road, and I have to say, I enjoyed EVERY bit of it.**

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**


	11. TACS Season 2 Announcement!

**The Advent Children Show: Season 2 Announcement!**

Cloud: What? [:D]

Me: Aww yeah!

Tifa: No way! [:D]

Me: Yes way!

Zack: We're back? [:D]

Me: Heeeeeeeelllllll YEAH!

Barret: Can someone please tell me what's going on here?

Me: The Advent Children Show is back on the air!

Everyone: [Cheers loudly]

Me: School has been less of a hell for me, and now that the year's almost over, we're back!

Aerith: Anything new happening?

Me: I've had the guts to finally add emoticons [:D] So that our readers would know what our emotions are.

Barret: [:D... :(... ;D... O.o... ;P... ;O... :)]

Me: Okay, stop that now Barret.

Aerith: Oh my God, I am so HAPPY! [:DDD]

Me: I've also had to make some new rules to avoid the cluttering of the show.

Tifa: What do you mean?

Me: That means I've limited one question per episode for every reader. Usually, I get like 5 each time.

Cloud: Lazy ass [:P]

Me: Shut the hell up!

Yuffie: Hiya! [:D]

Me: What the %$#& Yuffie?

Zack: What is "%$#&"?

Me: I've also added, for age appropriate reasons, to censor all profanity.

Barret: Aww are you $#%&in' serious! What the $#& you gonna be doin' now my %#&*in $%#*&!

Zack: Shut up, Barret, we all know you're not a real black person.

Barret: Yeah, yeah I know [:P] Thanks to Marlene, I'm white-washed.

Sephiroth: Anything else new?

Me: Well... I bought Final Fantasy VII finally.

Zack: No friggin' way man!

Me: But I'm still on disk 1 [:/]

Everyone: AWW! [-_-]

Me: It's a super long game! Plus I got a PS3 with Final Fantasy XIII.

Everyone: [Gasps!] [:O]

Me: What?

Cloud: NOOOOO!

Me: What...?

Aerith: [Cries] [:'(]

Zack: How could you, man?

Me: What are you talking about? [O.o]

Yuffie: %$#hole! [D:] [Kicks Me]

Me: Oww! What the hell? What was that for? [:(]

Cloud: You...

Me: I... what?

Aerith: You're playing Final Fantasy XIII!

Me: What's so bad about that? I like FFXIII, it's got awesome graphics!

Everyone: AHHHH! [DX]

Me: Ahhh... what?

Zack: We all hate Final Fantasy XIII!

Tifa: Yeah! And you only play it because it has good graphics!

Me: Well... It has a good story too...

Everyone: AHHHH! [DX]

Barret: You have five seconds to break that game, Johnny boy!

Me: What? No! I'm not gonna break it!

Cloud: Get him! [:O]

[Everyone tackles me]

Me: No! I still love you guys! Really! Final Fantasy VII rules!

Tifa: Liar!

Barret: Let's kill this traitor!

[Barret points gun at me]

Me: No! Please! Don't kill me! Besides... Lightning isn't even hot!

Everyone: [Stops]

Tifa: Come again?

Me: I said Lightning isn't even hot...

Tifa: And what about me?

Me: Well...

Cloud: Yeah, what about her?

Zack: And Aerith and Yuffie?

Me: Well... they are pretty hot...

Cloud: Whew!

Everyone: [Sigh of relief]

Me: What? [O_o]

Aerith: I guess we look a lot better in PlayStation 1 graphics than those FFXIII girls do in PlayStation 3 and Xbox graphics.

Tifa: I knew I was always the hottest Final Fantasy character [:D]

Sephiroth: Now I don't have to kill you, Jonathan.

Me: That's a relief. [:)]

Me: Well anyway! Season 2 of the Advent Children Show WILL start another story of mine, so check it out on my profile and subscribe to it! Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time on the..

Everyone: Advent Children Show!

**I'm glad to be back! You all wanted more, and since you guys helped me through it all, here's a present. ACS S2! Enjoy guys! :D**


	12. TACS will be removed from FanFiction

**Note to all my readers.**

I was just told that "The Advent Children Show" is against the rules of FanFiction. I wish I had known this a lot sooner.

I swear, the Season 2 announcement thing was not an April Fools joke or whatever, I was seriously going to continue the show.

I'd like to thank GabesGirl for letting me know about this.

I will have "The Advent Children Show" removed in three days so all my readers would be able to read this announcement.

I know I am breaking the rules even more by making this "chapter" an author's note, but it's a risk that I'll have to take.

I'd like to thank EVERYONE for being apart of the ACS experience, and I will make more fics soon (That is if I don't get banned from the site by then.)

I will remember you guys forever, and don't worry, I'm not throwing the fic away, I promise. I'm keeping it on my computer if there's ever a time when FanFiction will let those kinds of stories (or for another site :P)

You guys rock! And if I'm ever banned from FF, then that's on me for not reading the rules thoroughly enough.

"The Advent Children Show" has been fun writing, and been great taking dares from all of you. I just hope FanFiction would see how much fun people have with it!

Later guys! I love you!


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